oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
