I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
