when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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