Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
