Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
