i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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