we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
