There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
