I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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