Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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