I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
