I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
