the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
