Your tits are I can't wait for
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize