A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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