he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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