No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
