u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
