The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
