I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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