so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
