I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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