Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
