Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
