If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
