I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize