i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
