God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
