I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He better not be in your backpack
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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