This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
