my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
