I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
