Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
