Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
