You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
