I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
