I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
