She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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