I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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