So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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