tonight lets celebrate not being married
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize