tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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