just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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