he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
