i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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