yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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