All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
