Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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