I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
