I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It's never too late to be topless.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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