Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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