Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
