You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What a dumb baby whore.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
