Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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