finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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