Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
