Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
they're like a gay fantastic four
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
